Secure Connector

Picture frame of happy couple in a golden field.

The Secure Connector

“I am comfortable with myself and with others, able to handle conflict, negative emotions, and both giving and receiving. When I need help I’m not afraid to ask for it, and I’m able to give and receive comfort freely.”

Secure Connectors are comfortable with reciprocity and balanced giving and receiving in relationships. They can describe strengths and weakness in themselves and others without idealizing or devaluating. Good at self-reflection, Secure Connectors clearly and easily communicate their feelings and needs. Resolving conflict was modeled for them growing up, so they know they’re not perfect and can apologize when wrong. Setting boundaries and saying “no” is also no problem for a Secure Connector. They are comfortable with new situations, can take risks, and delay gratification. When upset, Secure Connectors seek help and comfort.

Are you a Secure Connector?

Ask yourself the following: If these statements resonate with you, you might be a Secure Connector.

  • I have a wide range of emotions and express them appropriately.
  • It is easy for me to ask for help and receive from others when I have needs.
  • I can say “no” to others even when I know it will upset them.
  • I’m adventuresome and I know how to play and have fun.
  • I know I’m not perfect, and I give my loved ones room to disagree.

How We Love members (anyone with a free account on this site) who have already taken the Love Style Quiz can also take our free Secure Connector Assessment. Just log in and click on “Your Hub” from the site’s main menu.