Here are more questions from our speaking engagements on How We Love Sexually. They are questions we all have but where else can we find forums where the answers are squarely faced. We hope our answers are helpful to you. Here is my pick of questions for this week.
Can my kids see me naked?
Well… how old are they, how old are you and what do you look like naked? Don’t answer that… just kidding.
Each parent will feel differently about this question. A lot depends on your experience with this subject when you were a child yourself. With infants and toddlers, showers and baths together with mom or dad should be a natural experience. Once the child is school age, most likely, things will change and they will be more self sufficient and capable of taking their own showers and baths. At this point, showers and baths with mom or dad is probably not a good idea as a regular occurrence. If you are changing clothes at the beach or the pool, it’s no big deal. As kids get older, respect their boundaries for privacy and modesty. Yet, knowing how children are, it is likely they will invade your personal space on occasion while you are changing clothes or getting out of the shower yourself. At that point, it is a good idea to teach your child manners and simply cover up and ask them to knock next time.
Freaking out and jumping with horror if you are seen naked gives your children the wrong impression and may arouse suspicions and curiosity beyond what is age appropriate. The opposite extreme of parading around like you are the president of a nudist colony isn’t advisable either. Privacy and modesty is the watchword.
What if my previous sexual experiences with others were better than they are today with my spouse?
I suppose that this may be one of the reasons why God says don’t have sex prior to marriage. Comparison is deadly. I drive an old car with over 150,000 miles on it. If I could, I’d drive it for another ten years. Yet, if I were to go to car dealerships every weekend and to test drive every new model, I’d probably become dissatisfied. “Thou shall not covet” has been around for thousands of years for good reasons. God knows that in our fallen state, human beings are not that inventive… we all struggle with the same issues.
Additionally, illicit sexual “experiences” are more exhilarating because of adrenaline and risk. Christian “love making” within marriage is about loving and accepting the entire person for who they are, spiritually, emotionally, physically and sexually. Your spouse will know if you are dissatisfied… your face and words will show it. Ask God to help you forget the other sexual partners, control your eyes and mind and ask God to help you have the eyes and heart only for your spouse. Read I John 5: 14-15.
Thanks for listening.
Milan and Kay