The Safety Pyramid – Part 7

Having experienced a severe Gall Bladder attack on April 1st, I was told by the ER Doctor that it should be removed ASAP due to the discovery of multiple gall stones which could dislodge at any time. I said “Gall Darn!” and followed their instruction. I’m two weeks post op and feel great.

An internal organ once “safe” within my safety pyramid of life, over time became a liability which needed to be removed so it could not harm me again. A dislodged gall stone would be a real bummer at 35,000 feet over the Atlantic Ocean and potentially life threatening during my trip to Rwanda next month where third world medical care would most likely be insufficient.

This can also be true with friends and family as well. A person who once was a friend and ally may over time become increasingly hurtful and unsafe. If constructive conversations do not seem to have any positive impact on improving their negative behavior, it might be prudent to demote them a category within the pyramid or perhaps remove them altogether from your pyramid as a means of self-protection.

I’ll never forget a cute young couple who came into my office for counseling some years ago. On their wedding day, they were both as happy and excited as they could possibly be. Over time, as he would travel for work he began to “party” more and more with his business partners and clients. This wild lifestyle eventually led to more dangerous drugs and multiple encounters with prostitutes and call girls. Eventually he was found out by his wife and confronted. He was remorseful and, for a season, tried to face his demons and take greater responsibility to control his choices and lifestyle.

For quite a few months, it appeared that progress was being made and their marriage was being restored. And then it happened again… and again. Finally, he admitted that he would rather have the excitement of his reckless lifestyle than remain faithful to his wedding vows. It became clear to the wife that she needed to have this man out of her world in order to experience sanity, safety and peace.

While sad, this kind of a story is all too common. Each of us has to examine the people in our lives and ask the following question. While no one is perfect, generally is this person trending toward being an asset or a liability? Sometimes we just have to say “gall darn” and hit the eject button.

Thanks for listening.
Milan for Milan & Kay


The next local event for Milan and Kay is the Therapist Training in July. Please check our website under Events for details and registration information.

We hope you are enjoying the new How To Turn Stress into Opportunities for Emotional Connection series. Just a reminder that this is the last week that it will be offered at the introductory prices.

We are also about to introduce the new and improved How We Love Sex..or Don’t series. Milan and Kay worked very hard on updating the content and then rerecorded the series in January. It is almost finished being edited and will be available in the store shortly.