Rupture and Repair – Pleasers

Let’s look at each love style and where they might struggle with causing rupture and initiating repair:


Pleasers have the opposite problem from avoiders.

They apologize way too much and not because they are sorry but rather to make peace, make the anger stop or to keep anyone from getting mad.

Pleasers take too much responsibility for everything and everyone and become anxious when others are upset.

Pleasers want their anxiety to go away so they have difficulty with conflict and avoid it by being dishonest or indirect.

They minimize offensive behavior directed at them and would rather overlook disrespect or mistreatment than engage and confront.

As a result, family members often don’t respect them and push until the pleaser caves in.

Pleaser need to grow by confronting bad behavior, wading into bad news rather than avoiding it and developing the emotion of anger and the ability to express it.

Jesus had enemies.

He drew hard lines and didn’t give in.

Thanks for listening.

Love and Blessings,

Milan & Kay

Next Week:  We will look at How Vacillators Deal with Rupture and Repair