Parenting and the Love Styles

God’s Amazing Design for Bonding

Our fourth grandchild was born two weeks ago.

Here are the stats since we know you all are dying to know.

Girl:  Name, Holland Heather Kay Yerkovich (wow) she will be 10 before she can write it.

Weight:  7 pounds 10 oz

Birthday:  Dec. 28, 2007 at 1:19 pm.    Nice of her not to get us up in the
middle of the night for her appearance.

Its fun to be a part of a newborns life again, and especially with what we know now about bonding and attachment.

I told my son and daughter in law,

“I have one piece of advice.  Keep her with you for the first two hours and don’t’ let the hospital do all their procedures until later.  She will be fully awake and alert for 1-2 hours after she is born.  She won’t be alert for that length of time for weeks.” 

They took my advice and it was fun to see their amazement at how alert she was, how her eyes followed voices and indeed she was awake for two hours.

Later she got her bath, eye drops, vitamin K shot and all the other hospital procedures.

After they brought Holland home I told them another interesting fact.

If you have watched a newborn, you know they make some funny faces as they drift off to sleep.

They roll their eyes, grin, and grimace making all sorts of adorable faces.

Researchers have discovered that for the first three months of their lives babies have a different sleep cycle.

They begin their sleep in a dreaming state which is why they make all those endearing expressions that are so entertaining.

At about three to four months of age a babies sleep cycle shifts into an adult pattern where dreaming is at a later stage of sleep.

The cute faces disappear, but guess what….now the baby smiles and responds to those around and is capable of social responses.

God’s design provides a new mom with a preview of the baby’s social faces before the baby is capable of responding.

We talk in our book about how important these first years of life are in forming a core of trust.

Babies don’t think.

They just feel and they mostly feel what is in their bodies.

Warm, cold, hungry, full, wet, dry, rocking, touching, stroking:  these all are sensations felt in the body.

Babies are just one big bundle of feelings and needs.

In the next month we are going to talk about each of the love styles and their strengths and weakness as parents.

You can take this in on two levels.

If you are a parent, then obviously, you will be asking yourself how to grow as a parent.

You can also evaluate your own upbringing and try and understand the influence your parents have had on your current behavior and feelings.

Remember, this is not a blame game.

We know parents did the best they could.

Our goal is to understand ourselves.

Love and blessings,

Milan & Kay