“Lessons from Pain…ADVOCACY.”

“Lessons from Pain…ADVOCACY.”

If it were not for Kay, it is very likely that I might not be writing this newsletter to you.

The reason, is that I was too weak when I developed cardiac tampanade (a fatal condition if not treated quickly) on days 8-10 of my hospital stay.

The doctors now believe that I had a reaction to coumadin (a blood thinner) that they were using at the time.

All I know is that I was so weak that I could not represent myself, recognize coherently my true state, or be my own advocate.

I was quickly declining and all I wanted to do was sleep.

While I cannot remember this, somewhere in the sequence, as I was getting worse, Kay told me that I said to her “I don’t think I’m going to make it!” She listened, looked, did her own evaluation and interceded for me boldly and aggressively.

She was criticized by the staff and referred to as “stressed out” and “an agitated wife”.

Yes she was!

She was trying to get everyone’s attention and everyone kept dismissing and minimizing her opinions. They would come into my room and look at the monitors and say, “He is doing just fine!” Kay spoke up and said, “I don’t care what the monitors say, look at his body, his hands are cold as ice, he is fading fast, his abdomen is swollen, his skin is splotchy and his veins are distended… I know my husband and I know that he is deathly sick.  I want a doctor in here now!”

Kay’s boundaries made enemies at the hospital during that 48 hours… but they saved my life.

The staff and the doctors were ultimately horrified in retrospect after my true condition was revealed post operatively and they drained 1.8 liters of fluid from around my heart.

They are currently doing an investigation as to how and why I deteriorated so rapidly before the eyes of trained staff and why it took so long to get a physician’s response.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 says, “Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:  If one falls down, his friend can help him up.  But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up.  Also, if two lie together, they will keep warm.  But how can one keep warm alone?  Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.  A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

Thank you Lord and to my family who were my “advocates” when I did not have a voice to speak for myself.

Who are your advocates that know you and will speak for you when you cannot speak for yourself?

Do not travel through life alone.

Thanks for your love and support,

Milan & Kay