Carpe Diem – Martha and Mary (Part 1)

“Now as they were traveling along, He (Jesus) entered a certain village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home.  And she had a sister named Mary, who moreover was listening to the Lord’s word, seated at His feet.  But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to him, and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do all the serving alone? Then tell her to help me.”  But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and bothered about so many things; but only a few things are necessary, really only one; for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her (Luke 10:38-42).”

Wow… what a story… two contrasting persons.

Martha, the busy, dutiful, faithful soldier … and the contemplative connecting sister, Mary.

Several things are striking about this passage, not the least of which is Jesus voicing a judgment about which one of them had their priorities correct.

A friend came over who has a better homes and gardens house where nothing is out of place.  He looked at my garage and said “what a mess” “what a pack rat”.  I took a deep breath and said, “Someday, I’ll have a garage that looks like a firehouse… perfect, clean and everything ready.

That day will be when all my kids are gone.

The day it is neat, I will probably look upon it with nostalgia as well as sadness and depression.

I’ll miss the bike repairs, the junk piles, science projects, surfboards, sand, wetsuits, prom dresses, wedding stuff still at our house, punching bags, tools (where is my crescent wrench & Phillips head screwdriver) and the stuff that 6 people collect over 38 years… even stuff saved for grandkids.

Children are a phase within a marriage and I will enjoy them and play with them… on their time table… when they show interest in spending time with dad.

Later I’ll have a garage that looks good (if my wife is cooperative).”

We all need balance; the garage must be periodically cleaned.

But if like Martha, at a critical moment, your routines and cleanliness and orderliness blind you to moments of connection.  Try to catch yourself and ask the Lord to help you change and have eyes to see those connection moments that happen serendipitously.

It will only happen when you learn to value the Lord and others Matthew 22:37-39


  • Check out our new book, How We Love our Kids which will be released on March 15, 2011… just 4 short weeks!  We have a favor to ask you in upcoming weeks… stay tuned.
  • Be sure to look at all of our appearances across the United States, hopefully we’ll be near you very soon.
  • Speaking of being too busy for words, Kay and I are very pleased to announce that Mary Belanger is our new How We Love Administrator.  You will be hearing more from her and hopefully interfacing with her as you make contact with us.  We’re breathing a sigh of relief at finding such a trusted partner to help us keep our noses above the water line.


Milan & Kay

Next Week:  More Relationship Tips and Advice